MEDIA & TESTIMONIALS
Lynn Kaplan, the “Divorce Doula”
on what you don’t know you don’t know about getting divorced
Liquid Lunch, ThatChannel,com, September 2015
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Discussing The Role Of A Divorce Coach
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For Confidentiality Purposes All Testimonials From Clients Are Anonymous
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“My divorce was unusual in that it was long and drawn out, but not particularly combative. My ex just wasn’t moving things along at his end. Lynn helped me set out a few alternative strategies for dealing with him. She also clearly went over my paperwork, thus saving me hundreds, possibly thousands of dollars in legal fees…but she also knew which questions needed to be answered by my lawyer. Lynn always anwsered my calls quickly and was able to set up appointments without delay. Now that I’m divorced, Lynn will also be advising me on how to responsibly plan my legal and financial future with my new partner.”
“I knew I wanted to try to resolve my divorce through mediation, but had no idea where to start, how to plan for the negotiations, how to really know what the issues were to work through. I found Lynn at just the right time. Her knowledge , support and encouragement were exactly what I needed. Mediation worked and I am now able to co-parent with my son’s father.”
”Lynn provided me with a deep sense of support and empowerment through my whole divorce process. Now, 6 months after the divorce, I can say I am intact and doing well because of the emotional and practical advice that Lynn generously gave.”
“Lynn worked with the learn how to work with my lawyer in the most useful manner, to keep my communications with him concise and effective, helping to keep the fees to a minimum and allowing me to feel that I was more in control of the process.”
“I want to tell you I feel totally blessed to have you in my life, you are a true inspiration and an angel."
“When my lawyer gave me the Financial Statements to fill in, I was so overwhelmed and I felt paralyzed. Lynn helped me tackle them, making it easy. Before working with Lynn, I spent hours talking and emailing with my lawyer, racking up huge legal bills. Lynn helped me to prepare for all my meetings and emails with my lawyer to make them more efficient. I know I saved huge amounts of money plus the frustration and grief.”
“The thought of having my two and four year olds go to stay at their fathers’ for the weekend sent my into a panic. Lynn helped me prepare myself emotionally for that time without my children. We planned the whole weekend so I would be busy doing activities for myself. Lynn taught me to use this time to rejuvenate and be an even better parent when I am with my children. Thank you for that gift and everything else you have helped me go through in a very difficult divorce.”
“I wish I had found Lynn earlier in my divorce. By the time I found her, the communication between me and my ex-husband was unbearable. Lynn helped me to really take the time to look at every email I sent to make them as neutral as possible, to keep down my stress and the hostility. Amazingly, six months later , my ex and I are able to work together most of the time to make the best decisions for our three children.”
“I knew I wanted to separate from my common law partner, but had no idea where to start. Lynn educated me on all the different processes and helped me figure out which would be best for my situation. She helped me find a collaborative lawyer, a property appraiser, and even a mover. She helped me with all the logistical work, but more importantly, with the emotional challenges. She taught me how to “uncouple” (as she calls it). I am so happy with my new life. Every woman needs a Divorce Doula. Thank you Lynn.”
"The best money I spent was calling a Divorce Doula named Lynn Kaplan in Toronto. In one hour I received vital and understandable information that provided clarity around the legal side of separating and helped me move forward into this ugly necessity. If I had used her information, along with a draft separation, I could have gone to the solicitor and left with a separation I felt good about.
Lynn stressed the importance of a 'Dispute Clause' around how to handle disagreements around child care. If you are going to do your own separation, make sure you have one in there because you cannot spell out every forseeable circumstance in your separation agreement; but having a method to resolve disagreements ensures that a solution can be found." (from Divorcing, Understanding, Healing: After an Affair by Evelyn George)
“When I made the decision, to get divorced, I had been thinking about it for 3 years. It took me 6 months from the first time I told my ex-husband I didn’t want to be married, until I finally put my foot down, and he left. I had a great career, two healthy beautiful children, and I knew how to get things done. I thought I had it all planned out. I had a schedule for the children, child custody and support all written down on paper, and thought, 'this will be a peaceful end and new beginning.' I had no idea that my husband's drinking problem was so deeply routed in mental health issues, and when he did finally leave his life went down hill, as did my vision of what my new life would be like. He threatened suicide, lost his business, and his siblings and adult children provided him zero emotional support. My vision to wrap up all legal matters quickly and agreeably was no longer an option. In order to be sure my children weren’t abandoned by their father, I needed legal intervention to ensure they were safe both emotionally and physically while they spent time with their father. In the initial stages of hiring a lawyer, an old, close friend recommended I call someone she knew who was a 'Divorce Doula'. To this day, I truly believe this was the best advice I received when I was about to begin my journey through the family courts.
My lawyer was experienced, well-meaning, and very expensive. When I first began working with Lynn, she was able to provide me emotional support, had great knowledge about the process, and helped me save money with my lawyer. How? She wasn’t just experienced in family mediation and the family court process, she also had her own personal experiences, and understood the emotional impact divorce can have. The stress, pressure, and frustration are real and all parties need support during this time. Lynn was able to assist me and remind me I needed to re-create the new path in small steps. She would continuously tell me the process, and remind me to be patient. She spent hours editing affidavits that my lawyers prepared for me, before I filed them in court. She had a wealth of knowledge for resources, from social workers that she could recommend for my children, to other lawyers she knew that weren’t as expensive. Her role in my divorce was my anchor to holding it all together, and she always helped me stand my ground.
To this day, if anyone calls me asking me who was your divorce lawyer was, I always remind them first, call Lynn, she’s a Divorce Doula, you will need her and a lawyer.”
“Lynn provides steady stewardship to individuals experiencing the emotional and psychological fatigue of separation and divorce. Her guidance assists clients to navigate an often challenging process in a positive way that provides perspective and confidence to allow them to move forward in their lives.
Lynn creates a safe space for clients and she is able to provide practical, focused advice and strategies to create greater efficiencies for clients to help them work in the best way with their lawyers and other professionals. Lynn is a great resource for clients and their lawyers.”
Todd E. Slonim
Partner and Mediator
Devry Smith Frank LLP
Lawyers & Mediators
"Lynn Kaplan, the Divorce Doula, has a unique ability to deeply "get" her clients. She knows what they are going through because she has been there herself. Her empathy, combined with wide-ranging knowledge, provides her clients with the tools to move through trauma and rebuild their lives."
"When going through the stressful times surrounding a divorce, a good divorce coach/doula, like Lynn Kaplan, addresses the emotional side of divorce and separates it from the legal and financial side - without leaving anything behind. She allows you to make business decisions on the legal matters while giving proper attention to the emotions. That not only leads to greater happiness but can save you thousands, even tens of thousands of dollars (or even more). This article in the Globe and Mail explains more: https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/a-divorce-coach-could-offer-a-calming-perspective/article24919969/
Avoid divorce cheerleaders, who encourage you to act on your emotions. That will only lead to great disappointment, emotional upset, financial problems, and, possibly, bad orders from an angry Family Court Judge. Pair a Lynn Kaplan with a good Family Law Lawyer and turn your divorce into a time of personal growth, financial well-being, and the start of a new, better, life."
Certified Specialist (Family Law), Partner
DEVRY SMITH FRANK LLP
Lawyers & Mediators